"Coffee please, and a shot of cynicism" - Lorelai Gilmore

Once again I have been thinking.
I think quite a bit, I know.  This is the kind of thinking where I form some type of theory that you can choose to ignore if you'd like to.
First off let me mention that I have been watching Gilmore Girls (and theres gonna be a revival!!). It is just as good as everyone else says it is, trust me. I started watching it a little while ago and was just kinda "ehhh" about it but now I am utterly in love. This show goes on the shelf with like Grey's Anatomy and The Vampire Diaries and The Mindy Project. Like its good. Following young and single mother, Lorelai Gilmore, and her 16 year old daughter Rory (also named Lorelai) this show takes place in a crazy small town where everyone knows everyones business, coffee seems to go hand in hand with oxygen, and you can never ever be too sarcastic.
Lauren Graham and baby Alexis Bledel are my favorite people ever (at the moment). But also, this show is actually hilarious.

my favorite people

But anyways, I bring up the Gilmore girls because they gave me this idea that you can literally get out of any unwanted situation, and feel somewhat accomplished, if your response is a sarcastic one.
Just about every single line in that show is some kind of sarcastic come back that just makes me laugh. If you know anything about me at all I believe that sarcasm is actually kind of a good thing.  I think it prepares you for any possible assholes who will ever cross your path and arm you with the right comeback to shut them up and make them feel small and stupid. Only assholes deserve to feel small and stupid. Sarcasm is also a good way to break the ice, hoping that your company has at least some sense of humor. Which if they are human beings who have ever smiled in their life, I believe they have a sense of humor.
However, don't make every thing you say a sarcastic remark because then everyone you talk to won't know if you are telling the truth or not. This happened to me last week... People actually can not tell if I am telling the truth or not anymore. I am ashamed. Only slightly.
The sarcastic thing also works if you got a creep breathing down your back. Like I have said before, these sarcastic comebacks, if given the correct way, can make the receiver feel small and stupid which is exactly what you want this creeper to feel. Now this might sound like a stupid idea as you do not want to possibly piss off your potential creeper so I would just say, unless you know extended self defense, do not try this on people who are significantly bigger than you and has any kind of visible way of pinning you down. But if all you need to do is shut 'em up, then the comebacks are a good way to go. They are pretty simple too. Now I can be witty, just not when needed. But what I can do is always make my voice do that fake thing where everything I say sounds like I don't mean it. Now if you can do that, then you'll go far in life. Trust me.
Gilmore Girls is absolutely amazing and by watching it, you not only will fall in love with Lorelai and Rory but also learn a thing or two about what makes a good comeback.
See Ya!
Olivia